Being Women of Influence

Marianne felt lonely.

On the outside everything looked perfect. A great husband, two little
girls, vibrant and busy in an under-four kind of way, a master’s in
education and the good looks of Jennifer Aniston. She read her Bible,
prayed and went to church. But inside she hurt horribly.

And she didn’t know who to tell.

The women at church had it altogether. Or so it seemed.

If we stop and look, we each will see hurting women in our churches.
They are “sheep” who have fallen down, a “very pathetic sight,”
writes Philip Keller in A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23. “Lying on its
back, its feet in the air, it flays away frantically struggling to
stand up, without success. Sometimes it will bleat a little for help,

but generally, it lies there lashing about in frightened frustration.”

Who are the fallen lady sheep in your church? She is the woman in a
difficult marriage, or who has a rebellious teen or is burdened with
a painful past. She is the woman whose husband is out of work. She is
the one who’s depressed or anxious, grieving or stressed out.

God gave me a passion to offer hope to Christian women who hurt. This
passion led to my going to seminary to learn pastoral care to women.
It led me to counsel women at my church using the Word. It is leading
me to begin a Biblical counseling center in my community.

I encourage you to ask the Lord to reveal to your heart the name of a
hurting woman in your church. He’ll provide one. I’m certain of it.
Begin to give this woman spiritual CPR: care, prayer and enough love
to repair.

C=Care. What does spiritual care look like? First, we need to notice
the injured. You’ve already done this when you identified a name.
Then stop. This is what the Good Samaritan did. Read it in Luke 10:30-
37. Next, meet immediate needs. It may be help with the kids or a
drive to the doctor’s office or help figuring out a budget. Most
important, listen to her pain.

P=Prayer. To help a hurting woman, we need to pray to Jesus, the
Great Physician. Tell him the needs of the hurting woman you’ve
identified. (He already knows, of course. He’ll help you figure out
what to do next.

R=Repair. Identify a hurting woman’s real pain. Listen carefully. If
married, is she committed to her husband? Does she have junk from her
childhood? Divorce, abuse, a loved one’s death — any of these may
still affect her today. Ask her gently but directly. Take care to
notice sinful patterns in her life and address them lovingly.

When I talked with Marianne, I had little clue what I was doing. We
shared Cokes on her deck as our children played. She learned she had
recently moved to my town and left a job she loved. Once she
recognized she was not defective in some way (her fear!) but was
going through major transitions of life, she stopped fretting. A
mutual friend encouraged her to join the young moms’ group at our
church. Within a few months, she was on the groups’ leadership team.

God had not abandoned her. He brought a friend who noticed she was
hurting and took the time to listen.

Who is a hurting woman at your church? How can you help her?

Written by Lucy Ann Moll

a writer, a speaker, a biblical counselor, and Jesus follower

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